


Isn’t He The Devil?

by Firerocket123456



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Kung-Fu, Murder, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firerocket123456/pseuds/Firerocket123456
Summary: ”Ah, Detective Douche, how wonderful to see you,“ Lucifer said happily as he walked into the office”You too, Detective.“ he added with a smile”Good morning, Lucifer,“ Chloe responded with a smile for a few seconds as she went back to straight face
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Dan Espinoza, Eve/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. The Case

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy my first ever story based on Lucifer!!

”LEAVE ME ALONE!!!“ a woman yelled as she ran around the parking garage as she was being chased by a person wearing a ski mask while holding a gun 

The person growled in response 

The woman then ran to her car and attempted to call 911

”9-1-1 emergency.“

”H-Help me!! I’m being chased!!“ 

”Ma’am, just calm down and— —“ 

Bang

The line went dead

”Hello? Hello?“

****

Chloe sighed as she sat down at her desk logged on to her computer

She was exhausted from last night since Trixie beat her in Monopoly by a long shot

All she could think about was getting her revenge 

”You okay, Chloe?“ Dan asks his ex wife as he hands her a Frappuccino 

”Trixie beat me again.“ Chloe responded as she sighed

”So?“ Dan answered back with a raised eyebrow

”Five times in a row.“ Chloe added with a straight face

”Ouch.“ Dan added with a smirk

”It’s not funny!“ Chloe protested

”No, it kind of is,“ Dan said quickly 

”You used to destroy us in Monopoly because you kept getting the expensive things.“ he added

”Ah, Detective Douche, how wonderful to see you,“ Lucifer said happily as he walked into the office 

”You too, Detective.“ he added with a smile

”Good morning, Lucifer,“ Chloe responded with a smile for a few seconds as she went back to straight face

”Did she beat you again?“ Lucifer asked the woman as she sipped her drink

Chloe nodded in response

”Five times in a row? Genius.“ Lucifer answered with a smile

”What?“ Chloe asked with a confused look on her face

”How do you know?“ she added

”The little human wanted me to keep count after her first victory.“ Lucifer added happily

”I’m gonna deal with her later.“ Chloe said sternly

****

”Ah, there you are Dan,“ Chloe began as she saw her ex-husband walking over to her after he called her name

”Where were you?“ she then questioned 

”There was a long line for coffee at the kiosk,“ Dan started as he sipped his beverage 

”Right outside the door.“ he added as he moved his finger from the left to the right

”I couldn’t care less.“ Chloe responded 

”Yeah,“ Dan whispered as he knew his ex-wife didn’t care

”So what do we got?“ he then asked

”This,“ Chloe gestured to the scene of the crime

”The woman’s name is Meryl Peacock, 33, local estate agent.“ she added as she and Dan walked over to where Ella was clearing up the wound in her purple latex gloves

”Cause of death - single gunshot wound to the head,“ Ella said as she wiped the wound to get a clearer look

”Any suspects yet?“ she then asked

”Not yet. But we’ll start questioning her family members soon.“ Chloe responded

”Good to know.“ Ella replied as she cleaned up the blood on the back of the car

”Well, hello everyone,“ Lucifer said joyfully as he walked over to them 

”Ouch,“ he added as he looked at the dead body

”That must not have been fun.“ 

”Lucifer, focus.“ Chloe said as she snapped her fingers

”Alright.“ Lucifer responded as he held his hands up as if he was surrendering

”What do we have so far?“ Dan then asked as he sipped his drink

”Not much, but all we know is this,“ Chloe answered back 

”The killer knew what they were doing, because the bullet went through her head, and hit her brain.“ she added

”Ouch.“ Dan exclaimed as he scrunched his face 

”You okay, Dan?“ Chloe asked her ex-husband with a suspicious look on her face

”Yeah, I’m just exhausted because I had to wait in that long line just to get my coffee.“ Dan responded

”You sure?“ Chloe replied

”Even though I’m your ex-wife, I can still tell if you are hiding something from me.“ she added

”Chloe Decker,“ Chloe’s walkie talkie started

”Yeah?“ Chloe asked as she spoke into her walkie talkie

”We’ve caught a possible suspect, he’s in custody right now. It’s the victim’s brother, Steven.“ the guy on the other side of the walkie talkie responded 

”Okay, I’m on my way,“ Chloe answered back as she turned to Lucifer

”Lucifer, let’s roll.“ she added

”Right away, Detective,“ Lucifer started as he followed her back to the precinct

”I can tell that this is going to be a treat.“ 

****

”So you were close with Meryl?“ Chloe asked a man a few minutes later as she and Lucifer sat with him in the interrogating room

”Yes, I’m her brother,“ the man responded 

”My name is Steven.“ Steven added

”And you both worked at the same place?“ Chloe then asked as she raised her eyebrow

”Yes. We did,“ Steven replied 

”We were both amazing real estate agents. In fact, we were both up for a promotion in a few days,“ he added

”But now it’s just me. I can’t believe she’s gone.“ 

Steven then frowned 

”Do you think your sister knew anyone who wanted to do this? Any known enemies? Or people above her rank, who she wished weren’t?“ Chloe then asked once Steven had taken a deep breath like Chloe suggested

”No. Me and Meryl, we were both extremely well liked,“ Steven started as he placed his hands on the table

”Everyone at work loved us, even our family.“ he added

”Can you think of anyone who didn’t like you, or your sister, without you knowing?“ Chloe then asked

”Well, there might have been someone who hated us, but I wouldn’t know because everyone just seemed so nice. Or I just don’t remember.“ Steven responded

”We did receive some mean tweets from someone at work,“ Steven remembered a few seconds later as Chloe snapped her head up at him

”By someone named CornCake21.“ he added

”That’s an interesting name.“ Chloe teased

Steven nodded in response 

”It definitely is random.” he replied 

”Alright, I’ll be wanting to speak to you again at some point, like in a few days, thank you for coming in,“ Chloe started as she got up from her chair

”I am just going to see if I can trace the user of CornCake21.“ she added as she and Steven shook hands

****

”Hey, Dan.“ Chloe began as she walked over to her ex-husband

Dan exhaled in response 

”Hey, Chloe.“

”What’s wrong. Did the coffee shop close before you could get to it again?“ Chloe questioned as she sat at her desk

”Nope,“ Dan started

”They cancelled my credit card.“ he added

”Ouch, that’s rough.“ Chloe responded as she looked at her computer, to see if there was any way she could trace the I.P address of CornCake21

”Mmmm-hmmm.“ Dan hummed in agreement

Then Dan’s phone went off, he received a text message from someone he knew very well

But he scoffed in response

”Who was that?“ Chloe asked

”No one, it’s fine.“ Dan lied as Chloe became suspicious

”Well, okay then.“ she said slowly as she turned back to her computer

”You guys, I have an update on the murderer,“ Ella started as she walked over to them as she turned her ponytail into her natural hair

”It’s not a huge update, but it’s where you can question suspects.“ she added

”Go on.“ Dan responded as he exhaled slowly at the sight of Lucifer walking over to them 

”Ahh, there you all are. I just wanted to let you know that I just took the little human to school, as you requested,“ Lucifer said cheerfully as he looked at Dan

”You okay, Daniel? You look quite grumpy.“ he then questioned Dan who huffed in response

”Ella?“ Chloe then asked the woman who continued the update 

”Right,“ Ella started as she tried to remember where she got to

”As I was saying, we figured out where the murderer lives, being Venice.“ she added

”Alright, Lucifer, let’s go.“ Chloe began as she started to get ready for the journey

”Wait, wait a minute,“ Dan said quickly as he got up from his seat and turned to Ella

”Did you just say ”Venice“?“ he then asked 

”Yes.“ Ella replied as she nodded in response

”What are you thinking Dan?“ Chloe asked with a concerned look

Dan then turned to his ex-wife, and Chloe then knew what she was thinking, and she was not on board

”Dan, no. No way!“ Chloe protested

”Come on!“ Dan complained

”Might I suggest backup?“ Lucifer asked

”That’s what I’m suggesting.“ Dan pointed out

”Dan, I’m not on board with this.“ Chloe said sternly as she put her hands on her desk 

”What are you guys even arguing about?“ Ella questioned as she and Lucifer started to wonder what the whole argument was about

”I think I know someone who can help us.“ Dan said as he got his phone out and went to his contacts

”Who?“ Ella asked as she tucked her hair behind her ear

”You’ll see.“ Dan responded with a smile as he put his phone to his ear


	2. Dan’s Cousin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”I still don’t know why you can trust him.“ Chloe said back to Dan with her arms folded ”Not after what he did to Trixie’s cake that day.“
> 
> ”Hey,“ Dan replied to his ex-wife, putting his hand out ”That was a misunderstanding. He held back the sneeze.“ 
> 
> Lucifer and Ella scrunched their faces in response

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the second chapter!!

”All right, his train should be here any minute.“ Dan said excitedly as he looked at the time on his phone, then looked at the view, waiting for the train to stop at the station

”I still don’t know why you can trust him.“ Chloe said back to Dan with her arms folded ”Not after what he did to Trixie’s cake that day.“

”Hey,“ Dan replied to his ex-wife, putting his hand out ”That was a misunderstanding. He held back the sneeze.“ 

Lucifer and Ella scrunched their faces in response 

”Did he sneeze on the little human’s cake?“ Lucifer asked Chloe and Dan

”Because if he did, then that’s disgusting.“ Ella added as she folded her arms 

”He sneezed on the cake and you know it.“ Chloe argued with Dan as she tried to prove her point

”Nope.“ Dan disagreed ”He held in the sneeze.“ he added as he tried to prove his point

”Can’t we just ask him when he gets here?“ Lucifer asked the two of them who thought that was best 

****

”Ahh, here’s his train now.“ Dan said a few minutes later as the train was in view then stopped at the station

Lots of people began to get off and Dan was looking for a specific person when everyone heard: ”Dan!“ from behind them and they turned around to see a teenage boy walking over to them, with a Star Wars backpack on his back

”Hey!“ Dan replied happily as he walked over to the boy and the two of them slapped hands ”Thought you were coming out the side we were looking at?“ 

”Decided to get off the train from the other side and walk to you from behind.“ the teenage boy replied as Dan chuckled in response as he walked back over to the rest of them

”Lucifer, Ella, meet my cousin, Mike.“ Dan then said as he introduced his cousin to Lucifer and Ella, announcing his name

”Hey,“ Ella began as she and Mike shook hands ”I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Ella Lopez.“

”Nice to meet you.“ Mike responded with a smile ”And you must be Lucifer.“ he added as he turned to Lucifer with a raised eyebrow

”Indeed, I am.“ Lucifer replied as he and Mike shook hands ”Very pleased to meet you.“

Mike nodded back in response ”So, why did you want me to come here?“ he then asked as he turned to his cousin as he wanted to know why Dan had asked him to come to Los Angeles 

”Because we need your help with a case.“ Dan responded as he folded his arms

”And by ”we“, he means I, since I did not agree to this.“ Chloe added

”Are still mad because of what happened that day?“ Mike asked Chloe with an annoyed look on his face 

”Yes,“ Chloe responded ”Because you did sneeze on Trixie’s cake.“ 

”For the one thousandth time, Decker,“ Mike began as he was annoyed ”I held in the sneeze just as Trixie blew her candles out!“

”See?“ Dan exclaimed to his ex-wife as he folded his arms

”Well, I’m not buying it.“ Chloe replied

Mike just rolled his eyes in response

****

”So, you want me to help you with a case?“ Mike asked as he ate a cookie in the precinct

”That’s right.“ Ella responded as she folded her arms ”Before you arrived, Dan said you loved his police work when you were younger and that you always wanted to help out on cases.”

Mike chuckled ”I did. But that was when I was younger, and it’s in the past. I will help, and I hope to enjoy this.“ he said as he took another bite of his cookie

”Well, you shouldn’t.“ Chloe said in a stern voice as Mike turned to her ”You could die, and I wish that will happen to you, because I don’t believe that you held in the sneeze. My friend, Maze can kill you for me, and I’ll have a front row seat to see the show.“ she then threatened

”Umm, did I just miss something?“ Mike then asked with a straight face ”Because you just threatened me, and threatening behaviour is the crime of intentionally or knowingly putting another person in fear of bodily injury. "Intimidation" is the name of a criminal offense in several U.S. states.“ he added as he used air quotes with Lucifer, Dan and Ella turning to her

”I’m a cop.“ Chloe said randomly ”Big difference.“

****

”Ahh, Amenadiel, there you are.“ Lucifer said cheerfully as he stepped out of the elevator, entering his flat ”I’ve been looking for you.“

”Yeah, I’ve been looking for you too, Lucifer.“ Amenadiel responded as he turned around ”Where’ve you been? Eve’s worried.“

”What?“ Lucifer asked with a concerned look ”Why? Is she okay?“ 

”Yeah, she’s fine, but something is up.“ Amenadiel replied to his brother as he walked over to him slowly ”She’s been waiting for you all day, where you been?“

”On a case with the detective and Detective Douche.“ Lucifer replied to his older brother ”And I met Daniel’s cousin at the train station earlier. His name is Mike.“ 

”OK, good.“ Amenideal responded as he understood where Lucifer had been all day ”And Eve isn’t worried in that kind of way. She actually has a surprise, but is worried about your reaction.“

”Oh.“ Lucifer said a few seconds later as he thought what the surprise that Eve had planned for him was ”Right, well, where is she, what is it?“ 

”Lucifer!“ Eve cheered happily as she ran towards him with a smile

”Hello, you.“ Lucifer responded as they kissed ”What’s this surprise that Amenadiel has told me about? The surprise that you were planning to tell me when I got back?“ 

”Ahh, yes. That.“ Eve said as she put her hands together after she pulled the strap of her red dress back up her shoulder ”What I’m about to say will make you feel so happy. Are you ready?“ 

”What is it? Just tell me.“ Lucifer then said as he was growing impatient 

Eve then took Lucifer’s hands and breathed slowly with a smile

”I’m pregnant.“

****

”Mommy, do I have to see his ugly face?“ Trixie asked Chloe as she was annoyed that Mike was coming over ”I still haven’t forgiven him for sneezing on my birthday cake.“ 

”I’m afraid so, monkey.“ Chloe responded as she turned to her daughter ”But we’re gonna have to try and get through this. We have Maze, don’t worry.“ 

”OK, Mommy.“ Trixie responded with a smile as she and Chloe fist bumped 

”Alright, got my knifes.“ Maze called from the hall as she spun her karambit knives around through her fingers ”Can’t wait to kill him.“ 

Then there was a knock at the door just as Maze finished her sentence

”Ooh, someone’s an early bird.“ Maze then added as she walked over to the door, with her black leather boots clip-clopping down the hall, filling the room with noise 

But when she opened the door, there was no one there

”Playing Knock Down Ginger, are we?“ Maze teased as she twirled her boots and tilted her karambit knives to the left and right slowly ”Don’t worry, I won’t harm you.“ 

”Then why do you have knives?“ Mike asked from behind 

Maze then immediately spun around as she tucked her hair behind her ear to see Mike standing behind her with his arms folded

”How’d you get in?“ Chloe asked as she sat at the dining table

”Decided to enter through the window.“ Mike responded as he looked at the opened window then back at Maze

”OK...“ Maze replied slowly as she put her karambit knives away ”So, you must be Mike?“ she added as she walked over to him

”Yes, I am.“ Mike then said as he unfolded his arms ”Hey, Trix.“ he added as he turned to Trixie

Trixie just scoffed in response as she turned back to her homework

”Nice to see you too.“ Mike added sarcastically 

Mike then got out his phone and went onto Spotify to listen to some music

”What you listenin’ to?“ Maze asked Mike as she walked over to him, since she could hear the song through Mike’s earphones 

”Zayde Wølf - Born Ready.“ Mike responded to Maze as he raised his eyebrow

”Ooh, that song is good.“ Maze then said as she grinned

Mike nodded in agreement

”Don’t trust him, Maze.“ Chloe called as she sat at the table ”Not after what I told you about what he did to Trix’s birthday cake that day.“

Maze then went from a happy face to a straight face as she looked at Mike ”That was disgusting, you know that, right?“

”For the last time.“ Mike complained as he was annoyed ”I did not.. sneeze.. on.. the cake.“

”Say what you want.“ Trixie said to the teenager ”We’ll never believe you, no matter how many times you lie.“ 

Mike just exhaled in response ”Sooner or later, you’re gonna regret what you just said.“ 

****

”...Lucifer?“ Chloe asked as she snapped her fingers, making Lucifer stop daydreaming and bring him back to reality ”You OK? You look a little shaken.“ 

Lucifer paused for a few seconds with wide eyes ”Eve is pregnant.“ 

”Wow.“ Chloe said as she was stunned and then smiled ”Lucifer, congratulations! You’re going to be a father!“

”I know.“ Lucifer breathed slowly ”It’s so strange. I’m definitely not ready for it.“ 

”Don’t worry, Lucifer.“ Chloe said with a smile as she put her hand on Lucifer’s arm, comforting him ”You’ll be a great father. Whether it’s a boy or girl, you’ll do amazing.“

”Thank you, Detective.“ Lucifer replied with a smile

”What’s goin’ on?“ Dan asked his ex-wife as he walked over to Chloe and Lucifer 

”Lucifer’s going to be a father.“ Chloe explained ”Eve’s pregnant.“ 

”Oh, you’re gonna be terrible at that.“ Dan said as he turned to Lucifer ”And that’s the truth right there.“

”Dan.“ Chloe said sternly as she made a straight face at him ”Show some respect.“

”All right, all right,“ Dan responded as he put his hands up as if he were surrendering ”I was giving my opinion. I’ll show some respect after he stops calling me ‘Detective Douche’ all the time.“ 

”Your wish is my command.“ Lucifer said unexpectedly as he turned to the man with a smile

”Wow.“ Dan said happily ”Thank you.“ 

”Oh, dream on, Detective Douche.“ Lucifer teased as he smiled with Chloe chuckling

Dan huffed in response as he put his hands on his hips and shook his head slowly

”I knew it was too good to be true.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The third chapter is coming out soon!!


	3. Dad Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Mike suggests it, Maze and Trixie take part in a Try Not To Laugh challenge to Dad Jokes while Chloe goes out to get a muffin.
> 
> And it does not end well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the third chapter!!
> 
> I just want to apologize for not updating this for 4 months, and the reason for that is because I'm still mourning the death of Naya Rivera.
> 
> I miss her so much.
> 
> She played my favourite Glee character - Santana Lopez-Pierce, and I was gutted when I found out that she was found dead.
> 
> May she rest in peace.
> 
> (1987 - 2020)

“Daddy, why did you ask him to work the case?!” Trixie complained as she asked Dan a question she didn’t like, and didn’t want to know the answer to, but just wanted to hear it, so she could disagree strongly.

“Because Mike is a cool guy.” Dan replied to his daughter with his arms raised slightly. “And he did not sneeze on your cake. He held it in.”

“You know I’m never gonna believe that, Daddy.” Trixie responded as she folded her arms in frustration. “I just hope I never have to see his ugly face again.”

“I’m with you on that one, Trix.” Chloe agreed as she walked over to the two of them, placing her hand on Trixie’s shoulder. “He is a pain in the ass. Neither of us want to see him.”

“Well, tough luck, I’m right behind you.” Mike called from behind Chloe, making her sigh as she didn’t want to hear his voice. “And I am not a pain in the ass. You may think it, but I’m not.”

“Dream on, Mike.” Trixie answered back as she looked up at the ceiling, sighing as if she wishes she was in a nightmare.

“Where did you even come from?” Chloe asked as she turned to face him with a confused look on her face. 

“Decided to enter through the window.” Mike explained as he gestured to the window by the front door, which was wide open.

“But how did you open it? It’s locked.” Chloe added as Dan and Trixie nodded in agreement.

“I might have helped him with that.” Lucifer replied, making Dan, Trixie, and Chloe yelp in response, as they turned to face Lucifer who had his hands in his pockets, as he wore his normal outfit. “Hello, little human, detective, Detective Douche.”

“Lucifer.” Dan huffed in response as Trixie waved at Lucifer, making him wave back with a smile.

“Okay, I am definitely going to tie a bell around your neck, so we know where you are at all times!” Chloe breathed slowly as she calmed herself down. 

“What’s all this about a bell around Lucifer’s neck?” Maze asked everyone as she walked down the stairs, looking at Mike with a raised eyebrow. “Oh. You’re here.”

“Nice to see you too.” Mike said in response, making Maze chuckle as she walked over to him, with the two of them high fiving.

“Are you kidding me?!” Trixie exclaimed at what she was witnessing. “You like him?!”

“Well, of course, Trix.” Maze responded with a grin. “I’m starting to believe that he didn’t sneeze of your birthday cake that day.”

“You people are insane.” Chloe snapped, making everyone flinch at the tone of her voice. “I’m gonna go get a muffin.”

“Well, what good would a muffin do, detective?” Lucifer questioned as he put his hands in his pockets. “And what type?”

Chloe turned to face Lucifer, just as she opened the door. “A muffin helps calm me down, and blueberry.” she replied as she exited the house.

“Anyone up for a try not to laugh challenge?” Mike suggested as Dan and Maze nodded at the good idea.

“Sounds like a plan.” Maze agreed as she headed over to the living room. “What kind of try not to laugh challenge are we doing?”

“I was thinking I would go with Dan’s weakness: Dad jokes!” Mike smirked as Dan raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, my God. Seriously?” Dan exclaimed as he chuckled a tiny bit. “I’m gonna die!”

“Well, don’t worry, Daniel. We’ll give you a lovely funeral.” Lucifer responded with a smile as everyone nodded in agreement.

“Wow, really?” Dan questioned as he made a big smile appear on his face. “Thanks!”

“And I’ll try not to fart on your gravestone, Daddy.” Trixie laughed as everyone turned to her slowly as they were not amused.

“Okay, for that, you are taking part in this, monkey.” Dan said to his daughter, making Trixie sit down on the couch. “And who else is doing this? Maze, you wanna try it?”

“Sure.” Maze said as she joined Trixie on the couch. “Never done this before. I don’t think I’ll laugh but you’ll never know.”

“Okay, let’s just get some water to make this more challenging.” Mike then filled two glasses up with cold water, putting them down on the coffee table.

But before Mike could start reading dad jokes, after Trixie and Maze had just taken a sip of water, there was a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it.” Mike headed for the door and opened it to see Ella standing on the other side.

“Hey, Mike.” Ella smiled gleefully as she stepped inside. “You guys about to do a try not to laugh challenge with someone telling dad jokes, with the challengers having water in their mouths?”

“Indeed.” Lucifer replied, nodding his head, making Ella nod in response.

“Cool. Mind if I go first?” Ella asked as she put her hands together, begging to be the first one to say a joke.

“Sure.” Mike answered back as he handed her his iPhone 6s. “They have five lives. First one to lose all five loses.”

“Got it.” Ella replied with a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Trixie and Maze answered simultaneously as they each took a large sip of their water.

“What do prisoners use to call each other?” Ella asked Trixie and Maze after they had both taken a large sip of their water. “Cell phones!” she added, making Trixie and Maze chuckle slightly.

“I used to have a job at a calendar factory,” Mike began as he read a different joke after Ella had had her turn. “But I got the sack because I took a couple of days off!”

Maze and Trixie both chuckled, and eventually, Trixie couldn’t take it anymore, and she burst out laughing, causing the water in her mouth to land all over the coffee table.

”Sorry, Daddy.“ Trixie apologized to her dad as she chuckled and took another large sip of water.

“It’s okay, Trixie.” Dan replied as he held his hand out. “Fingers crossed on how your mom reacts, though.”

Trixie - 4 Maze - 5

”Why did Adele cross the road?“ Dan asked the two challengers who raised their arms up slightly in response, as they held water in their mouths. ”To say ”Hello“ from the other side!“ he added as he smiled.

Maze and Trixie chuckled a tiny bit, but it wasn’t enough for them to lose a life.

”Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?“ Mike asked as he grinned, because he knew Dan loved this joke, and had a feeling that both Trixie and Maze would find the answer hilarious. ”In case he gets a hole in one!“ he added after a few seconds of silence.

Maze and Trixie immediately giggled as they both placed their hands on their knees, trying their best to not laugh at the joke Mike had just told them. ”Have you heard the joke about the- -“ Mike started but stopped when Trixie and Maze continued to giggle ”Have you heard the joke about the bed?“ Mike asked the two of them as they stopped giggling for a few seconds.

But before he could even say the answer, Maze and Trixie continued to giggle about the golfer joke.

”It hasn’t been made yet!“ Mike added in a high pitched voice as he giggled a tiny bit.

Trixie and Maze immediately chuckled, then giggled. It was obvious they found that joke good.

”What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?“ Lucifer asked the two challengers who still had water in their mouths after somehow surviving the golfer joke. ”An irrelephant!“ Lucifer added with a grin, making Maze and Trixie immediately giggle at the answer to the joke and tried their best to not laugh.

A tiny bit of water leaked out of Trixie’s mouth, and then she couldn’t hold it in any longer, and she immediately spat it out all over the coffee table for the second time.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 5

”Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?“ Ella asked the two women sitting on the couch after Trixie took her third large sip. ”He needed his space!“ she added with a smile.

Trixie and Maze grinned, but there was no giggling, as they had heard that joke before.

”What does a baby computer call his father?“ Dan asked his the two of them as Maze sat up a tiny bit on the couch. ”Data!“ he added as he smiled at the answer.

Maze and Trixie both chuckled at Dan’s joke, but they still didn’t spit out their water.

”Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?“ Lucifer asked his the two challengers who looked at each other with straight faces as they still held the water in their mouths.

”Because she kept--“

Maze then surprisingly spat her water out, all over the carpet, making Trixie chuckle in response.

”Aww, man, I lost a life!“ Maze complained as she took her second large sip of water.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 4

”Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?“ Lucifer asked for the second time. ”Because she kept running from the ball!“ he added as he smiled. ”No? Okay then.“ Lucifer then said at the sight of neither Trixie or Maze laughing, giggling, or chuckling.

”What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?“ Ella asked as she scanned the jokes on Mike’s phone. ”AYE MATEY!“ she added in a pirate’s voice.

Trixie and Maze chuckled in response, but neither of them spat out their water, but Trixie did move her arm in a ‘Yo-ho-ho’ like-way.

”I once had a teacher with a lazy eye--“ Dan started but was interrupted by Maze who spat her water out in response, landing all over the carpet.

”That was good!“ Maze said as she chuckled, then took her fourth large sip of water.

Trixie exhaled through her nose in response.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 3

”I once had a teacher with a lazy eye,“ Dan started as he repeated the same joke a second time. ”She couldn’t control her pupils!“ he added as he placed an arm on his hip.

Maze and Trixie both chuckled in response.

”How do you make Holy water?“ Ella asked Trixie and Maze as they squeezed their cheeks. ”You boil the hell out of it!“ she added in a deep voice.

Trixie and Maze both nodded in agreement, with Maze doing a thumbs up.

”Do you think glass coffins will be a success?“ Dan asked Maze and Trixie as he smiled softly. ”Remains to be seen!“ he added with a big smile.

The two of them smiled, but didn’t spit their water out.

”You know the loudest pet you can get?“ Lucifer asked as he raised his eyebrow. ”A trumpet!“ he added with a smile.

Trixie places her hand over her mouth, and Maze placed four fingers on her mouth as they both attempted not to laugh.

”I bought some shoes from a drug dealer,” Lucifer started as he had decided to read two jokes on his turn, and was reading one of Eve’s favourites, which was also one that Dan loved a lot too. ”I don't know what he laced them up with, but I was trippin’ all day!“ Lucifer added as he chuckled.

Trixie and Maze both giggled in response as they found that joke absolutely hilarious.

”I had a neck brace fitted back years ago. I haven’t looked back since!“ Ella then said, and smiled at Maze immediately spitting her water out, soaking Trixie’s outfit, and some water landing in Trixie’s eyes.

Trixie exclaimed as the water fell out of her mouth, and he rubbed his eyes.

”Maze, you just jet washed my eyelids,“ Trixie started as she and Maze chuckled along with everyone. ”You literally just jet washed the insides of my eyelids!“ she added as she wiped her eyes. ”I’ve never seen so cleanly!“

”That joke was so bad, it was hysterical!“ Maze said as she chuckled before taking her third large sip.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 2

”I could tell you a joke about pizza. It’s a little cheesy though.“ Dan said as Trixie snickered, with no water coming out.

”The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked,” Lucifer started as he smiled while reading another one of his favourite jokes. ”Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!" he added as Maze and Trixie squeezed their eyes, as Dan did a few Donald Duck noises.

”A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas,“ Ella started as she grinned as she read a joke that he knew Trixie and Maze would definitely love. ”These are the pie rates of the Caribbean!“ she added as Maze and Trixie chuckled, then giggled at Ella’s joke.

Eventually, after holding it in for ages, the water leaked out of Maze’s mouth as she couldn’t take it anymore, causing the water to go all over her black leather shirt and black leather boots.

”That was very good!“ Maze said with a smile as she took her fourth large sip of water.

Trixie just chuckled in response, with the others shaking their heads slowly.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 1

”Spring is here!“ Dan started happily as Maze and Trixie raised their eyebrows. ”I got so excited I wet my plants!“ he added as he made a big grin appear on his face.

But at the exact second that Dan was finished saying the joke, which caused both Maze and Trixie to almost laugh, Trixie then farted, as she squeezed her eyes and mouth, causing Maze to burst out laughing, as she soaked the carpet once again.

Trixie - 3 Maze - 0

”Aww, I lost.” Maze complained as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Oh, well. I did my best.”

“Good game, Maze.” Trixie said happily as she and Maze shook hands.

“Well, that was a delicious muffin!” Chloe exclaimed with a smile as she entered the house unexpectedly as she sucked her thumbs and fingers, smiling at everyone. “But maybe I should’ve ordered a tea too. Oh, well.”

“Why don’t you relax here, and we’ll all go and get you one.” Dan suggested as he knew Chloe would be furious about the fact that the coffee table and the carpet being soaked.

“All of you?” Chloe asked with her eyebrows raised in surprise and confusion.

“Yeah, we might get ourselves a sweet treat.” Ella chimed in, making Chloe nod in agreement.

“Okay, I see your point. See you guys later.”

The rest of the team then exited the house, without Chloe even noticing Trixie’s wet clothes.

“Phew, that was close!” Dan exhaled as they all walked down the road, with a few of them crossing their fingers.

“Let’s just hope- -“

Dan’s phone then vibrated in his pocket, making him gulp as he saw who was phoning him: Chloe.

“Hello?” he asked nervously as he began to panic.

“WHY IS THERE WATER EVERYWHERE?!” Chloe yelled into the phone, even though she wasn’t on speaker, making everyone walk a tiny bit faster.

“DAN, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this!! Please feel free to leave Kudos and comment anything you want!! And feel free to check out my Brooklyn Nine-Nine story that features Lucifer Morningstar, called Enter The Devil!! I hope you'll enjoy it!! I just want to apologize for not updating this for 4 months, and the reason for that is because I'm still mourning the death of Naya Rivera. I miss her so much. She played my favourite Glee character - Santana Lopez-Pierce, and I was gutted when I found out that she was found dead. May she rest in peace.
> 
> (1987 - 2020)

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed my first ever story based on Lucifer!!
> 
> Please feel free to leave Kudos if you haven’t already!!
> 
> Please feel free to check out some of my other stories if you haven’t already, and leave Kudos on them!!


End file.
